May 28, 2011

The Last.

Another post, dedicated for my beloved father, who's gone peacefully to meet the Creature.

I was opening my old folder in my laptop, then I found some pics I took few months ago. Some pics when my Daddy was still here, some pics about him.

When I looked and stared at'em, I still can't believe that he's actually not here anymore, I can't believe he's no longer here, I can't believe he left me like this, leaving mom, leaving us. Somehow, it still hard to accept that's he's gone, that I've lost him, that he won't be here anymore whenever I need him, that he won't check on me again every single night - ordering me to go to sleep soon, he won't put my blanket when I was asleep, he won't tickle me again, he won't take me to lunch again, he won't protect me again, there won't be the one who's willing to talk to me again when I have a fight with mom, there won't be the one who always cared for me all the time and no matter what, there won't be the one who always wait for me to come home when I was going out, even if he's already sleepy he would still wait for me. But now what, he's just gone. He is gone. He won't come back. That's all I know.

Here are those some pictures, almost all were taken during our last trip to Jakarta and Bandung on New Year holiday. This is our last trip together as a family, minus my brother.








This was his last Birthday Cake. The last time he celebrated his birthday. At that time he was sick, tho.


Daddy, why did you go so fast? You haven't seen sis and bro get married, you haven't seen my graduation, you haven't seen your children become successful people. You went way to fast.

I really really really
really really really really really really really miss you daddy.. Tell me, please tell me how loud and how many times should I scream for your name, or how much tears should I shed to bring you back around, to bring you back to me again, for you to be here with me, with us again. Tell me what to do and I'm willing to do anything just to meet you again. I wanna meet you and apologize, I wanna deeply apologize for the things I've done, I want to hug you again like how you used to hug me when I was a lil kid, I want to grab your hand again and never let it go. I want you to protect me again, like you did back then, like you never want to lose me, dad. I really want to see your smile again. I miss you so much, my man.



Your little girl really wish to see you again, Pop.
You're the only one, the only man whom she always missed every minute of everyday.

Miss you.

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